“I’ve identified as a bisexual since I was 17, and I’ve been polyamorous since I learned the word, which was about 10 years ago. I believe in abundance, not scarcity. I’m not into the jealousy thing,” says Pixie, who recently found Bad Girl Blog while researching one of my favorite bad girls of history, Catherine Walters, a.k.a. Skittles.
Pixie, from San Francisco, interests me because she’s a real-live Bad Girl--more than I'll ever be. A performer and sexpert with a very complicated life, Pixie has been developing Skittles as a character for the past year. She’s as devoted to the cult of Skittles as I am.
Pixie photo by Kalib DuArte, Corset by Dark Garden
“I worship Skittles,” Pixie tells me in a recent phone interview. “The more I read about her and look into her life, the more I believe I would have been like her in a previous life. High-level courtesans were openly sexual, and they owned their sexuality, and they were independent. Rather than settle down and get married, they were someone on their own.”
Pixie will introduce “an alternate version” of Skittles this year in California at the Steampunk Convention, where an unconventional group of Victorian history re-enactors will convene Oct. 31-Nov. 2 and try to levitate Silicon Valley with a series of midnight parties, dealers’ dens, leather teas and other events teeming with costumed revelers who all wish they were living in an earlier time.
Like Skittles, Pixie is petite and dark-haired, with a joie de vivre personality. Bubbly. Like champagne. And they both love to ride horses. Horses are as good as sex.
“Maybe I was Skittles in a past life!” Pixie muses to me later in an email filled with ellipses... “More likely, I'm nearly her now, with the exception that I don't make my money by selling sexual favors...I give them away. I did work as a professional stripper years ago... and have again recently for a couple of private parties... but that's another story...”
The neat thing is, the more Pixie reads about Skittles, the more she resonates with her, even if they are from completely different backgrounds (mid-19th century England versus 21st-century California).
“They say if someone called Skittles a whore, she embraced it,” Pixie says. “She was sex-positive! And Skittles never had sex with anyone she didn’t want to have sex with. She was very ahead of her time.”
Since she was a kid, Pixie has channeled women from the past by doing historic re-creations. She started out doing Elizabethan courtiers, but as she grew up she moved into the laced-up and corseted kinkiness of Victorian London. Pixie finally discovered Skittles last year, when she was researching a character for the Dickens Christmas Fair in San Francisco.
“I wanted to do a high-class courtesan character, and someone who knew I love horses and all things equestrian said, ‘What about being a “Pretty Horse-Breaker?”’ I had never heard the term, so I looked it up and was introduced to Catherine Walters.”
Would you describe yourself as a Bad Girl?, I ask Pixie during our phone call.
“Absolutely. It’s so much more interesting than being a good girl. Like a slut or courtesan, a bad girl is someone who is independent and willing to be who she is even if society calls her a bad girl. I’ve worked as a stripper, which is part of the sex industry, so I certainly am willing to be out about who I am. For a woman to take that position, that makes her a bad girl in society’s eyes.”
Pixie tried to be a 'good girl," but after three divorces, she's decided marriage just isn't her thing. She finally freed herself, and now, Pixie is an out, sex-positive “hot bisexual babe,” also known in some sex circles as a unicorn because like the mythical beast, her type is believed to be an ever-elusive ideal.
“I’m totally a unicorn,” Pixie says. “I’ve dated couples before. It can be fun, but I can scare people sometimes.”
And yet, there’s a wholesome totality to Pixie’s existence. She’s the vocalist for Cuir Bleu, a fetish-based electronic rock band that plays at BDSM clubs like the SF Citadel, where people might emerge from the dungeon and start flogging each other on the dance floor. Her day job is serving as an executive assistant for kink.com, which provides links to a series of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism websites.
“I like to be an educator,” Pixie says. “I’m completely out at this point.”
Things can get complicated sometimes. Pixie has to make careful agreements about safe sex with her primary and secondary boyfriend, and if she has a new man in her life, her dad doesn’t want to know his name unless he’s been dating Pixie at least a year. (Her mom, meanwhile, has always been very "sex positive" and still is.)
But polyamory is not about one-night stands. It’s about communication.
“I don’t cheat,” Pixie says. “I just have more open agreements than other people.”
Okay, back to our Bad Girls interview.
“Do you think there are more Bad Girls today than in earlier centuries?” I ask.
“I think they’re more open about it,” Pixie says. “There have been bad girls in every era. I don’t know that there’s more of them or not. Women are less willing to be in the background now.”
"Our girl Skittles never paid for her sins with a tragic ending, which is one of the reasons why she's one of my favorite bad girls. Your thoughts?”
“In my own life, I’ve had a lot more acceptance than you might think. People have come up to me and thanked me for living my life openly. If someone else can do it, now they feel like they can. I’m reading the book The Ethical Slut now. We’re reclaiming the word ‘slut,’ like the homosexual community took back the word queer. If someone who loves sex is a slut, then I am.”
See Pixie perform now: